Friday, October 21, 2011

Bucket lists 'n stuff.

Hey, errybody, I have recently started making a bucket list. I am keeping it to the right of this page. If you want to check out the cool stuff I'm going to be doing, just look to the right!
...That's all...
...Also..Look up the song 'Ooh Aah' by Grits........It's the theme song from the tv show The Buried Life.........Which gave me the inspiration to start a bucket list.
-Sir Jared.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Brave Heart!

A few days ago, I was going through the drawer in the living room that has all of the cds. While I was searching, I came across one titled "Brave Heart." I popped it in the cd player that I recently put in my room, and almost cried (Man tears (None of this sissy crying stuff (It would have been extremely manly (Like William in Brave Heart)))). Honestly, it is an amazing soundtrack. Look it up or something. It really will be worth your time.

Also, I am getting pretty kick-butt at playing 'On Your Porch' by The Format, on the guitar.

Keep it real, and keep it funky. Babe.
-Sir Jared.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Music will have to wait.

RIP (rest in pieces) ipod. You've been good to me. I take that back. You're a jerk, and I hate you. I would say go die, but you already did... Mostly.

Today when I was walking out to Aaron's car to go home, my ipod starting freaking out and skipping around on the songs and stuff. Out of pure hatred I threw that piece of crap on the ground. When it made contact with the parking-lot, the screen shattered sending glass all over the place. I picked it up and was at first shocked. Then I was like "Ha! Deserved". It has been such a huge piece for the longest time.

Anyways, for the last few days, all I have been listening too is; The Shins, The Format, and Nevershoutnever. I made a playlist of all of the songs by them that I have. Which is about 54. Look those guys up. I highly recommend them. My favorite song right now from The Format, is Tie the Rope. Check it out.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Forget about all that corn. Its not something to be proud of.

Sometimes when your life is really good, it goes by too fast. Other times you're going through a bunch of crap, and you wish you could just move on, but you can't. Life decides to go extra slow so you can savor the pain.. But lets not talk about that. That's depressing and stupid. Lets talk about how right now, life is ridiculously amazing. Well, I guess that there's not much I want to tell you, that's just too personal, but what I will tell you, is that I'm learning to play the guitar. Its freakin' sweet. Maybe in a few weeks.. Years.. If ever.. I will play you some cool songs. I just need to get a lot of practice in. I can do some pretty cool sight reading, and I know a few cool chords, but I just need some cool practice time. If you couldn't tell, I like to put the word "cool" in front of a lot of things. I just makes it sound... Cool.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Bearded music!

Please look up this song. Of Two Bearded Men, by Number One Gun. It is an amazing song. Well, at least the sounds are cool. The words are just not understandable. It is a Christmas song, but you would never be able to know that. It doesn't sound like one in the least.

After you're done with that one, look up Beardmen Feast, by Max Romeo. Its a cool Reggae song. Really, just go to and look up Beard in the search. You wont be disappointed!

Also listen to Beard, by Blur.

Sometimes I just do stuff like that, and I find cool artists.
-Sir Jared.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Freaking, The Shins. Babe.

Recently I have been being attacked by some of my friends, because I don't put any input about the music i like. I admit, I have been focusing on my ridiculous short stories, but that's no excuse. Its time to lay down (with) the law.

Right now, and for the past few weeks, my favorite artist is The Shins. My favorite few songs by them are "Pink Bullets", "Know Your Onion", and "Girl Inform Me". Definitely a cool group of ones. I highly recommend you look them up.

Also, the band Silversun Pickups. Listen to the song "Lazy Eye". It is a pretty dece one. It is a little bit winey for all you haters out there, but it is still one of my favorites.

This has been a brief escapade into my life of frequent escapades.
-Sir Jared.

ps. If I didn't have freaking K9 firewalls on my computer, i would just link you to the song. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Senior Schedule

Its been a while, Brotha!
School is starting. My schedule is as follows.

1. Seminary/Seminary.
2. English 12 (Orme, Sarah)
3. Advanced Drama (Brower, Chris)
4. US Gov/ missing class
5. A Cappella (Larson, Paul)
6. Madrigals (Larson, Paul)
7. Woods 1/ Woods 2
8. Astrology/Geology

That is it. I don't know all of my teachers, because i am doing this all from memory, but you get the idea anyway.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Run To You

'Run To You' by: The Rocket Summer.

Turn, look, look out and see
Do you see me?
Because I think I see you.
I've been some other place
The wind that I chase, it all just leads back to you.
Oh how I'm still, so still, it's sobering, but still I ran.
I knew you when I was young
But where am I now that I'm a man?

Run to you, I will run, I will run.
I will move right on through
All of these things that I have done.
And you'll take me back, I don't know why.
I want to say I'll never do it again,
But I can't, but I will try.

Turn, look, look out and see
Do you see me?
Because I think I see you.
I've been some other place
The wind that I chase, it all just leads back to you.
Oh how I miss what you miss, but I will fall time and again.
And I will say that I'm true to you,
But I'm a cheat. I don't understand.

So I'll run to you, I will run, I will run.
I will move right on through
All of these things that I have done.
And you'll take me back, I don't know why.
I want to say I'll never do it again, but I can't
I want to say I'll never do it again, but I can't
I want to say I'll never do it again, but I can't
But I will try.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Dude, just let the toe hang.

Somewhere around 5 years ago, my family went on vacation to San Diego, California. By saying my family, i mean my parents, brothers, sisters, and even a few cousins. This was the year when the term "Let the toe hang" was invented.
My older brother, Ty, was hanging out with Jens, Jacob, Judith, and I, in our campsite. If i remember correctly, Jacob and Judith were having a back and forth insulting fest. It was the casual thing to do back then. So as this is happening, my brother Ty comes up to us and says, "Dude! Just let the toe hang!" What i figure he ment from that was 'Take it easy!' Or 'Chill out!'.
For a few days after that, Let the toe hang was the awesome thing to say in my family, and was forgoten until just recently.
I was thinking back on how more of my family used to come to the beach, and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. "Let the toe hang!" i couldn't help but laugh for the space of 7 hours. It was an amazing memory.
From then on, "Let the toe hang," is one of my favorite things to say. I say it on at least a daily basis.

Thanks for reading.
-Sir Jared.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Sleep is a good time to think about weird things.

I started writing a book. Just thought you should know. Its coming along pretty good. I usually write at 12:00am when everyone else is asleep, so i don't have any distractions. No hints, no spoilers, and no under-drawers.

Jack Johnson has cool music, that is perfect for my range. I dominate it with my pipes. Please don't confuse that with dominating the pipes, because that's just gross.

Have a good day.
-Sir Jared.

ps. If you don't know what dominating the pipes means, it means going to the bathroom. hehe (:

Thursday, July 21, 2011

When you're physically inside of a heart, it doesn't look the same.

One time when i was walking home from school, i was attacked by this bald guy in a black van. Yeah, he was bald. He jumps out of his car and shoots me up with his tranquilizer gun. I instantly fall unconscious. When i wake up, i am hanging over a vat of boiling oil. "How did i get here? Where IS here?" I think to myself. First thing i do is i pull out my gangster switch blade. I cut the ropes holding me in place. Now that i think back on it, that is the stupidest thing i have ever done. I fall to my death into this vat of boiling oil, only to realize that it isn't oil at all! Well, it is. But its not boiling! It is actually quite cool. It is just bubbling. I get out of the oil just to see it catch on fire. Good timing on my part eh? I head over to the door marked exit (it has one of those green exit signs above it). I go outside to find myself in the heart of a chicken. Boy was i weirded out. First of all, i didn't know how i got there. Second, how did i even know it was a chicken heart in the first place? I don't know how i knew, but i just knew. You know? Anyways, i was dripping in oil, standing in the arteries of a chicken. What else can you do but jumping jacks? I did maybe 20 sets of 12. The chicken obviously didn't appreciate it, because i got thrown up before i even realized what was going on. How i got thrown up, i don't know. But it happened. I looked up to see the fowl beast, and i didn't see anything, so i looked down instead. There it was, maybe a foot tall. How the heck did i fit in that little thing? That i'll never know. My day was just getting weirder and weirder. There was no sign of the bald man, or his van anywhere. Lucky for me, i was just a block or two away from my house. I ran home and took a shower to get the oil off and to smell fancy. I don't like the smell of oil all over me. After that, my day was absolutely normal.

Thanks for reading this story.
-Sir Jared.

ps. Have you ever heard the song The Funeral by Band of Horses? Well you should listen to it. I'll post the song including a video of a guy doing cool bike tricks on my facebook. Its probably my favorite song right now.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Life isn't always good.

I'm a squib. Get that in your head, and don't ever bring it up. Its a touchy subject, and you might end up with bruised shins. No, my parents aren't magical, but that doesn't stop me from being a squib. I can be what i want. Plus, i am currently enrolled in Squaogwarts. Not to be mistaken for Hogwarts, the school for witchcraft and wizardry. But the school for squibcraft, and squizardry. There's quite a difference.
I can brew a pretty mean potion. I am well known at the school for being able to make any potion, at any time. I even make potions in my sleep. Don't ask me how, because my answer will simply be, I'm skilled. I can also talk to fish. Its called lesraptongue. I am the only person in all of the school that can do it.

-Sir Jared.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Irish drinking song

One mornin' when i woke up,
and i looked into my mirror,
I saw that i had no hair,
I thought i'd have a beer.
So then I went to the doctor,
He said "here's what we'll do",
He put some implants in,
Then i wore his shoe.

I look like Colin Mockory,
Handsome as handsome can be.
I kiss myself in the mirror,
Because i love bald me.
And then they put me under,
....They did it twice.
I thought that that was,
Awfully nice.

They drilled holes into my skin,
Then stuck in some hair,
They had to use a bit of a pin,
And virtually a bare.
And then he combed it to one side,
Then he looked at me,
He said "are you satisfied?",
"You're pretty as can be."

Oh, i'm a very handsome man,
The ladies love my paint.
They think that i'm Tom Celic,
They think i'm really great.
Well people scream and yell,
When i walk in through a door,
And when i come in to the room,
My pants fall on the floor.

This is from Whose Line Is It Anyway. And i think its really funny.
-Sir Jared.

Things you obviously don't know about me.

This is a list of 35 thing you probably don't know about me.
1. I am 3 of 4 kids that are from my parents being together, but if we're counting past marriages, i have 6 other older siblings. Which puts me at 9 of 10.
2. I am very good at pretending that i care what you're talking about. I'm a very good liar too.
3. I can grow some pretty dang cool sideburns. I am currently in the process right now.
4. I like to read. But only if its interesting to me. Which pretty much rules out a lot of English assignments.
5. Yes, my hair is really red for all those grandma's out there that think i'm faking it.
6. I have bigger feet than both my older brothers. Its pretty stylish.
7. My favorite color is dark blue.
8. Yes, i do like country music, for all those haters out there.
9. When i went to homecoming dance this last year, i wore suspenders, and a belt. I felt super classy.
10. I was born in San Diego California, lived there for a year, moved to Idaho for 3 years, then moved to Provo, where i am currently residing.
11. I'm attractive.
12. If i got a tattoo it would be the triforce on my left hand. The bottom left triangle, if not all three.
13. I have well above 113 hours on a pokemon game that i have on my DS. I am that devoted to "catching 'em all".
14. I like having long hair, mostly for the purpose of putting my hair in a pony-tail in the back. It makes me feel really awesome when i do.
15. I secretly want to shave my head bald, just to see what its like. But then have it all back the next day.
16. I know what you're thinking about number 15. You're thinking "No! Don't shave your beautiful locks of hair! I just simply couldn't go on with my life if you didn't have your flames of glory!"
17. I do in fact like vanilla ice cream over chocolate.
18. They based the song in Beauty and the Beast where they're singing in the bar about Gaston after me.
19. I've been to Hawaii. While i was there, it happened to be my 11th birthday. Lucky me eh?
20. I would choose Star Wars over Lord of the Rings. I'm sorry to anyone that is offended by that.
21. My favorite kind of pizza is bbq chicken.
22. 22 is my lucky/favorite number.
23. 23 is Jens' lucky/favorite number, so i don't like it very much. He's always trying to one up me. (:
24. I do doubt my friends honesty. You never know when someone could be lying to you.
26. If i could leave Utah, i would. I honestly don't like it here very much.
27. I have never read the full series of Harry Potter.
28. I like being cold over hot.
29. My favorite hair color on girls is dark brown. My favorite eye color is a tie between really really deep blue, and a lighter brown.
30. Every girl i can remember liking in high school has always been 5"5'. Weird eh?
31. I can do a lot of things with my face. Such as: Wiggle my ears, raise one eyebrow, cross both eyes, cross one eye, shake my eyes, wiggle my nose like a rabbit, move my eyebrows up and down really rapidly, and things like that.
32. My dream car is an Audi TT. Preferably dark blue convertible.
33. I like hot chocolate when its cold. Like, ice cold.
34. My favorite flavor of gum is Solstice. 5 gum.
35. I get on facebook probably 2-5 times a day to see if a certain someone is online. Yeah, i'm a stalker. Sue me.
36. I don't like to share my true personality with just anyone. If i'm really quiet around you, then you don't know me. Or, i'm just in a quiet mood. Which happens a lot.

You kind of know me better now. Doesn't it feel great?
-Sir Jared.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

More stories?

I'm debating with myself whether or not to write another series of short stories.
Would anyone like that?

Let me know what you think.
-Sir Jared.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Let's have an adventure.

Have you ever wondered what its like to be on the other side? I've heard that death is life's greatest adventure, and i've always been curious what its like. I don't mean i want to kill myself or anything, just that i want to know what its like to have a completely different perspective. Life can be a drag sometimes. Like, really bad. I bet on the other side, you're always having a good time, and you're always in the company of those you care about.

Thanks for reading, friends.
-Sir Jared.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Sunday, July 3, 2011

I cleaned my shoes.

Seriously though, you just don't understand. I just like to have a pocket full of coins. Big coins, Little coins, Copper coins, Silver coins, foreign coins, you name it. I like them coins in my pocket.

I have Kelly Green shoes. I haven't even cleaned them once. When i put them on today, my thoughts were "Holy crap. My shoes are gross." So i took some clorox wipes and dominated my shoes. They are sparkling now. Like, they're clean beyond recognition. Really.

favorite song right now is 'Art of War' by Anberlin. Its very good.

I don't like your style. Get out of here.
-Sir Jared.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

I got some cash.

Yesterday was payday. $123.65. Yeah, i know. 20 cents less would have been a lot cooler. So here's the deal. I got paid $53.65 in wages, and $70 in tips. I got more money in tips than normal. Yeah, you could say i like my job.

I started out yesterday by doing some chores, then i went and picked up my check. It was such a beautiful thing. After that, i went to the bank and killed off all of but $20 which i kept for my pocket. 9 hours later i was down to $4. I went to Macey's and bought a celebratory Kong Kone, and $12 of fireworks. Then i went to rock canyon park and got frostbite. Then i went to the movie Fast Five. It was dang good. After that, i went and saw David Archuleta. i just partied. All day long.

Last night when i was going to bed, i listened to the album All Left Out. Its a pretty cool one. Anyways, my life is really good.
-Sir Jared.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Stop throwing buses at me! Part III

Honestly, i just don't know what to think. I mean, two drug busts in one night? Do the cops just know where i am and what i'm doing all the time? Here's the story. I was beating down these goblins with Richard Simmons, and the cops pull up. Luckily i left my stash in my vault in Gringotts. but the goblins? They were packin'. Each of 'em had at least one dooby up their sleeve. I got off with just a warning, but all thems goblins got taken down town for some questioning. I thought they would be smarter than that. Now all the goblins are gone. As for the other drug bust, my homies and i are chillin' poolside, when the cops burst out from the house and find my bro's shootin' it up. Luckily i'm straight and don't do drugs so i don't have any problems. But all these other guys that are chillin' with me aren't so lucky. Now i'm all alone poolside, and this fancy lady (Name will not be mentioned) comes out of the bushes and jumps in the pool. I'm like "Who the heck are you?!" Then she turns into a dragon. That's when i woke up. This has all been a dream.

Yes, that's right. It has all been a dream.

I don't know where it came from, but the song 'Vindicated' by Dashboard Confessional came into my head about 10 minutes ago. I looked it up on and listened to it twice. I really recommend it.

Any additional information about my dreams from here on out will cost you. Just keep that in mind.
-Sir Jared.

ps. The part about me having a stash in Gringotts was just my stash of jellybeans.

Stop throwing buses at me! Part II

I know you have all been desperately anticipating the sequel to the book i wrote. Well, you don't get to read it. I did write it 'n stuff, but you don't get to read it. Instead, you can read this short story that i wrote. Its based on actual events.

You can read it after this brief segment. Have you ever woken up in the morning with the smell of tuna in your hair? I know i haven't. Well, to negate this problem, buy this thing that i made!
Now for the story.

After Obama's squad of assassins took out that goblin, the earth started to shake. The earth cracked open, and a whole army of goblins started erupting from the ground. Obama and I realized that his squadron wouldn't be enough to take out all of them, even with the help of Batman and Magneto. Just then, i remembered that i have been taking rexquando for the past 6 months. I did what anyone would do. I broke the wrist, and walked away. I broke the wrist of all of those little jerks. But it wasn't enough. They just kept on coming, even though they were destroyed beyond recognition. Just then, when all hope seemed lost, Richard Simmons appeared through a portal, that he said would only appear to those that follow their dreams. He wasn't much help, but it was pretty dang cool that he showed up. I mean, all of these famous bro's coming to help me slay the goblin horde? I felt like a champ. So Richy and i were fighting to the death with the goblins, when one of them hits me over the head with a dump-truck. I instantly lose consciousness.

The epic trilogy will end in the upcoming story: Stop throwing buses at me! Part III.

Oh and by the way, I like The Killers.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Stop throwing buses at me! Part I

When i woke up this morning, the song by Queen that talks about people biting dust was stuck in my head. Why was it there? I've never listened to it on my own. I haven't heard it in probably a couple years. So why here? Why now? I'll tell you why. Its probably because someone threw a bus at me.

I was home alone one Friday night, when out of nowhere this little goblin erupts from the ground, and pulls a bus out from behind his ear. He then proceeded to throw it at me. I saw it coming, and as soon as it was about to hit me, Batman swooped in and kicked the goblin in the face. Well, even though Batman did take care of the goblin, the bus was still headed for sure impact on my face. That's when it happened. The bus stopped in mid-air, and i saw that Magneto was standing next to me, with the bus in his control. He let go of it, and it smashed into the ground, making a large crater. The bus was probably 3 feet away. This all happened so fast that i didn't even realize i wasn't even in my house at all! I was in the white house with Obama! Who knew! Obama wasn't pleased with the goblin that almost took me out, so he had his squad of bro's gun him down. Its safe to say that bus throwing goblins wont be hassling me anymore. Or so i thought.

To be continued...

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

I like to brag about stuff.

You'll never believe what just happened to me. Not that you care, but just for the enjoyment of bragging, i'll tell you. I was cruising around my neighborhood, when off in the distance i see a 50 dollars bill floating around. I see that it is in fact a slice of cash, so i chase after it. When i get my hands on it, i can't even believe it. Seriously? Who drops a 50 dollars bill? I don't care. Now that i'm 50 dollars richer, i go to a s'mores party. When i get there, i celebrate with all my homies. (everyone was at least under the age of 9).

Anyways, i wanted to tell you that just to be like "yeah, i found a 50 dollars bill floating around. What of it?". Be jealous. Be very jealous.

I like the song 'On Your Porch' by The Format. Just so you know. Look it up. Its a kind of depressing song.

I'm done with you. Get out of here. If you even are here.. Bye.
-Sir Jared

Secret Unicorns

Today i was listening to some Relient K, when the song 'Who i am Hates Who I've been' comes on. I listen to it, then listen to the acoustic version to compare them. After listening to them both, i decide that i like the acoustic version is better. But that's just me.

If you ever get the chance to watch Gentlemen Bronco's, Don't. It is the worst movie i have ever seen. Probably the worst i will ever see. I watched it at the request of Jon-Michael George, who had watched it the day before, and thought it was amazing. He just wanted to spread his findings, but by doing so, he's damaged my soul beyond repair.

As of right now, my favorite group is Guster. They have been a favorite in the past, and after listening to them again, i remembered why i thought they were so good. My favorite of they're songs (that i have), is 'All The Way Up To Heaven'. Its pretty classy.

I'll let you get back to your boring lives. Thanks for reading.
-Sir Jared

ps. This post has nothing to do with Unicorns.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Beds are Burning?

Hello, my name is Jared. All my friends were making blogs all over the place, so i wanted to make one too. This is the best i can do.

I think what i want this to be is based on the kind of music i like to listen to during the time i post. It will either be just that, or have some side thing about it.

Today, my favorite song is "Beds Are Burning" By: Midnight Oil. I think its pretty catchy. I first heard this song when my family was on the long 11 hour drive to California for our annual beach vacation. I had put the name of the song as a text draft on my phone, so i would be reminded to look it up later. Yesterday, i heard the song coming from the kitchen in my house, and recognized it as a cool song. I looked it up on, and have listened to it at least 8 times since then.

When i get hooked on a song, its the only one I'll listen to for days. Anyway, i suggest you all look it up, and bask in its glory.

Well, its about that time. Goodbye.